I’ve been wanting to write about this topic for a while.
I didn’t want to post anything I’ve written before because this topic changes with me.
I’m not going to claim to know the truth, but I will share my experiences with you in this post.
I’ve always been a curious guy with a sharp intellect, and the last few years I’ve really seen how that can be a curse and a blessing.
I’ve seen how easy it is to get lost in a typical male track where you try to solve everything like a puzzle.
One thing is for certain, women are not a puzzle you can solve. Neither is sex.
I’ve been blessed with female encounters so far in my life.
Most of them I would not have sex with again if I had the opportunity.
Not because there is something wrong with them, but because I have changed.
With every woman I’ve been with, either a one night stand or a relationship, I have learned something about my self.
When I change, the women I’m attracted to changes as well.
These women have shown me more and more what kind of woman I really want, and the more I have grown, the fewer and fewer women I find to be attractive.
The more I know my self, the fewer potential partners I see.
In all honesty, the women of my life have been my greatest teachers.
There is a lot of beauty in the world, and as men we are fortunate to witness it.
As I have grown and become more grounded, I have started to look deeper.
To look past the outer shell that is her image, and to look inside her for something else.
Something abstract and impossible to define.
Not an image or an appearance.
But something more profound, a feeling, a muse.
There are a few women who make all others pale in comparison.
So beautiful in every way to you that you have no choice.
No choice but to desire her from the depths of your heart.
A sexual desire that transcends the physical and creates a profound energetic attraction
where you yearn to connect with her on the deepest levels of her being.
To be inside her, to feel her, to sense her, to experience all that she is.
Previously I was looking for “A” woman, now I’m looking for “THE” woman.
I’m not talking about the “one” here, but I’m talking about the notion and feeling that there is someone that you want more than the rest of the world.
In that moment, she is THE woman you want right now. You want her right there, right now.
That is all that matters.
She might not be that woman in a day, or a year.
But right now, she is the greatest woman in your life.
One thing that I have learned about sex is that the quality of the sex is depending on the quality of the connection with the other person.
Not all my encounters have been quality connections….
For as long as I remember, I’ve been interested in becoming better at sex.
And for a long time I had that problem solving mentality that most men have.
“Stimulate X spot for Y seconds to achieve Z orgasm”.
Making sex into something mechanical or something with a “how to do” list.
I’ve had some good sex with that mentality but it wasn’t until I abandoned that mindset that I really experienced something truly profound with someone.
That was also the first time I had my first full body orgasm.
Tantra, Taoism etc all speak about making sex a meditation, yet it took a long time before I really understood what that means.
Meditating and being in a meditative state is two VERY different things.
When you are in a meditative state, you mind quietens, and you find your self fully present in the moment.
I find that the more you quiet your mind, the more you get into your body, and your body is much smarter than your mind.
You allow your body to take over and you reach a point where it is just two bodies dancing together so fully intuned into eachother that everything flows with perfect grace and intimacy.
There is no stopping to think what should I do now, or how many orgasms have she had, or thinking about not cumming.
In that moment, time doesn’t exist.
It is just two people intimately sharing something magical.
Last year I did a 10 day opera master class in Slovakia, and I had a few sessions with a ballet dancer to show me how to move, and how to get more into my body.
I remember on the second session with him.
We started with him showing me some moves to music before he had to go to some costume rehearsal and he left me there to dance by my self.
It took my probably 10 minutes before my mind took a vacation and I danced for 45 minutes or so by my self.
Those 45 minutes is one of the best moments I’ve had with my self.
I felt my own body in such a new way, and I was able to let go of my thoughts and just let the body move to the music.
It is the same with sex, to let the mind go, and be fully immersed into the moment with your partner.
That is when the magic happens.
That is when you can use the techniques, because then they are no longer something mechanical, but a natural extension of your movements in this sexual dance.
There is nothing I love more than to give a truly special woman the mind blowing pleasures she deserves.
And this is one of the things that is truly worth striving for.
It is breaking hearts wide open to a moment of full surrender where nothing else exists.
A moment where you discover the purest expression of love and life.
One thing I know for certain about me and my life is that I will always keep growing and evolving.
I can never settle for something less.
There is no turning back, there is only forward
And that is why I can only be with “THE” woman, and not “A” woman.
Mediocre sex or a mediocre connection is not for me.
I’m searching for that purest expression of love together with someone I can surrender my heart to.
Sex is the dance of hearts, and dancing without your heart is not for me anymore.